For the Love of Kumo
by KuroKumo89
Summary: This is the first in a trilogy. It is the story of Itachi's childhood narrated by him. He relives his childhood from the great beyond. He encouters some strange things and people who will become very important in his adult and adolescent life. collab CA
1. Chapter 1

Prologue - February 19th, 11136 A.D

All that surrounds me is endless depths of black, I am floating in zero gravity. My skin, so pale that it's sickly, glows in against the black. My rather-short hair is floating as if I were submerged in water. My eyes strained into the distance.

"Where is he? Where is my love?" I can't find his long silver hair of tall thin frame anywhere.

What would be the point of what i just did if I couldn't be with him in the afterlife. The throbbing in my chest, that I hadn't felt in so long, came back. That relentless ache that refused to go away. I mustered the ability to move my lips.

"Sesshomaru! Where are you? Sesshomaru!" I cried.

Tears came to my eyes but instead of rolling down my cheeks, they formed dropplets that floated freely around my body. I looked at them in wonder for a moment. Their sheer beauty reminded my of Sesshomaru and I started to sob again. He was an essential part of my being.

I know people would say that it's unhealthy but it was completely two-sided. I find it rather funny that I am not at all wondering what is happening to my body or in the world of the living. My soul is empty, now that he isn't here.

My senses need him. My fingers (and my whole body) yearn for the feel of his skin. My eyes need the sight of him. My nose desires to smell his scent again. My heart aches in his absence. I feel hopeless and panicked, like a child who has lost his mother in a crowd. Sesshomaru is my other half and the half that is still here wants very much to be complete again.

I search desperately but to no avail. He is nowhere to be found and I can't move easily. I try to run, but i don't get very far, it's like trying to run through syrup. Even if i could move where would i go? The space around me is infinite.

"Where is he?"

How can i find him if I don't even know what direction I should go? I am totally lost and distraught. I had never believed in heaven and hell but the thought that he might be in a completely diffent dimesion crashed down on me.

My sobbing intensifies as i slowly curl into a ball and wish to disappear; to no longer exsist in any way. I just wanted to be with him. I cant' do that then i don't want to exsist. My name is Itachi Uchiha and this is my story.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to my editor who despite being sick edited this so that i could post it here. I do not own the characters there are some OC's though. Also in order refine my writing skills i have written this under the assumtion that the readers don't already know about the characters so that's just for my personal style. Thanks for reading please enjoy.

Part 1 Childhood

Chapter 1 June 9th, 1989

I was told the story of my birth several times by my father, possibly so I would like him more than my mother, but he seemed to love to tell it. Mom put in alot too to make sure that he got it right because he tended to embelish alittle.

It was a hot day in late spring. The people of Konahagakure, the village that i am from., sought relief from the sun under the shady trees that gave it its name. My family was infamous and were confined to a ghetto-type setting in a far corner of the village.

My father didn't pay the water bill so my mother was stuck kneeling beside the Nakano River, which flowed in our backyard, and collect water in jugs. I was born at a time of political instability. The Third Great Ninja War was raging, though it appeared to be a peaceful late spring day. My mother was just going about her business when a huge white dog pranced out of the forest and came right up to her and started to nuzzle her hand.

"Hello there." She said petting his head. Then she resumed her filling of jugs.

A short time later another huge white dog came from the trees and began walking over. The two dogs growled at each other ferociously until I kicked my mother and she gasped in pain. They immediately seemed concerned. They then looked towards each other as if having a silent conversation. When my father came out and told my mother, in a rather rude way, to hurry up with the jugs, neither of the dogs wre happy. My mom waddled over and sat under a tree that would later become a representation of my childhood. My father ignored her and retrieved the jugs with a heavy sigh before going back into our house.

The larger of the two white dogs nuzzled at her right hand and the smaller at her left. She petted the smaller dog who upon receiving the pet looked triumphant at the larger who whinned. She then petted the larger dog too. The smaller one stared at her stomach which was very swollen. He rested his muzzle on top of her stomach. She said that I became peaceful and happy when he did so.

"He likes you." She said he isn't kicking anymore. "He's happy."

The white dogs exchanged a glance before the smaller one stared at her belly in wonder. He nuzzled against it. She said that made me even more happy so happy, she said that I had to come out right away. She was seized by contractions.

"Fugaku! Fugaku the baby is coming!" She shouted.

The dogs sat close to her and watched as my father ran from the house with all the necessary tools to aid a woman in childbirth. He sat in front of where she lay against the tree. He removed her underwear and spread her legs. Her water broke and she laid in pain for about an hour before my father began instructing her to push. She was in tears from the pain by the time my head was out, she said that it was the most painful thing she ever endured physically.

Apparently her pregnancy with me was so bad that it nearly killed her. The smaller dog sat behind my father staring intently at my head. When i was completely seperated from mom, my father wrapped me in a blue blanket.

Mom said that it was hilarious to watch because the smaller white dog followed my dad everywhere he went while he was holding me. Eventually dad laid me down gently on the grass and the dog stood over me. They both said i laughed hysterically. The first time I ever smiled I was smiling at that dog, that large white dog. He nuzzled my cheek softly and I squirmed between his forepaws according to mom. She said it was cute but she was sore about the way that I had treated her throughout the pregnancy. So when my father asked her 'what shall we name him?' She answered "Itachi" while glaring at the river.

My father stared at her in surprise. "Why would we name him that?"

"Because he's a bad omen and so are they so why not name the little bastard aptly." She sobbed.

The small white dog growled furiously and advanced toward her but the larger one growled, glaring at my father as he stood in front of her.

My parents were never able to find out why the dogs reacted the way they did. We later found out why.

My mother became distressed regardless of whether or not she was angry with me I was still her son, and her new born son at that. So her maternal instincts must have kicked in. She protested loudly something to the effect of, if they didn't stop then I would get hurt and that would make her very unhappy. The confused dogs looked down.

My father picked me up and carried me over to the porch. It was then that my mother noticed the orange tabby cat following him. She said that it looked funny to see the dog following him and the cat as well. They ignored each other. When dad sat down on the porch the cat sat next to him and rubbed its head all over his back.

He held me out to the white dog who nuzzled me softly. My father once again placed me in the capable and caring hands (or paws) of the white dog while he went to get a bowl of milk for his new kitty friend.

This was the story of my birth and naming. The name is a bit depressing. For all those out there who are more than alittle confused as to why, Itachi is the japanese word for weasel. Which on top of not even being a name it's a bad omen. So my mother named me out of spite. I was saddened when I heard this story. It is a terrible thing not to be loved by your own mother, I thought. She did love though, I didn't discover this until much, much later.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter two! Enter Kumo. Thanks NS and CA! I don't own these characters.

Chapter 2

January 20th 1995

My father was a strange character in the story of my childhood. I am not sure when or why his heart turned to stone but it did. I was his everything, the apple of his evil-plotting eye.

I was just months away from turning seven. The age at which most of my peers would enter the establishment known as The Ninja Academy but I was so close to graduation I could reach out and nearly touch it. I was also in the second grade already at Konaha Regional Primary School. My father was bursting with pride and my mother was hidden in the shadows. An under current of tension rippled between them.

This was the perfect time for my midnight adventures. I frequently snuck out during these turbulent months. I escaped the terror of my father and the stolidness of my mother and ran into the forest. At first I just threw my kunai and a shruiken but that was too much of a reminder of obligation so I just sat under a tree by the Nakano River and watched the stars. The tree had a perfect knot hole in the roots to lean back on and was close enough to the house that I could just barely see if any lights came on; this was helpful because I could tell if they woke up. This was where I came across someone to whom I would become very close.

It was freezing cold outside. This was typical for January. The tension in the house had risen to an unbearable level. I ran outside and decided to practice throwing shruiken. I threw them, most hit the target but some fell into the river. I tried to find them by kneeling in the snow next to the bank. The water glistened before me. For a moment I saw my shocked face and behind it, the stars and tree tops. I fell head first into the freezing cold water.

I first penetrated a thin layer of ice. As I panicked and flailed hopelessly at the icy water my lungs filled with the excruciatingly cold water. My eyes searched for the surface. Even if I found it I wouldn't have been able to make it before my lungs ran out of air. After a while I had given up on life. After just six short years I was willing to throw in the towel. I closed my eyes and stopped fighting. I felt myself sinking as the air left me. Then there was a sharp tug at my collar. I scrambled to try and free my neck, though I had given up this was an involuntary reaction. My lungs ached and screamed for oxygen. Whatever was tugging me pulled me right up to the surface. I coughed and sputtered trying to inhale the oxygen that I so desperately needed. I was dragged onto the bank.

I crawled feebly to the nearest tree and curled into a freezing cold wet ball. I was crying. My whole body was so cold it was painful. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and waited for hypothermia to set in. The damp coldness surrounded me, but slowly it became warm and I fell asleep.

I woke up surrounded by white fluff…but not cold, it was warm, unlike the snow. I rubbed my eyes the way children do when they wake up and sat up to see what was white and fluffy around me. It was a large white dog that had dug a hole in the snow around the tree roots. It had curled around me and kept me warm all night.

"Did you save me?" I asked despite the fact that he couldn't answer me.

He lifted his head and blinked at me. He had beautiful golden eyes.

"It must have been you. Do you have a name?"

He blinked again.

"I guess not because you aren't wearing a collar…I should give you a name. Everybody deserves a name." Then I proceeded to think much too hard about a name. "Hmm…I'll name you Kumo!" I proclaimed because you're white and fluffy like one."

He nuzzled my cheek and smiled. I had never seen a dog smile before I laughed and stumbled backwards. I landed on something metal. I stood and realized he had also gotten the shruiken that I had been chasing out of the water.

"Thank you." I picked up the shruiken "For saving me."

He nuzzled my cheek again. I smiled.

"I'll bring you something to eat…" I trailed off as my father's voice floated into my ears.

"Itachi! Itachi where are you?" he yelled.

"I have to go to practice but I'll get you something to eat before I go to school." I said to Kumo. "My name is Itachi Uchiha by the way." Then I ran through the still dark snowy forest. The sky was velvety-royal blue as the sun began to prepare to rise.

"where the hell have you been all night?" My father barked when I reached the house. I just stared at him. It was then that I realized that it was dawn.

"And why are you all wet?" He pressed.

I continued to just stare at him.

"Jeez a six year old teenager are you?" He said. "go change and meet me at the half bridge in ten minutes."

I wasn't sure what he meant by six year old teenager but I did as I was told.

Once I got back from practice I gathered a few of father's newspapers that he had already read and grabbed a fresh fish from the fridge and wrapped it in the newspaper. I took it to my room and grabbed my backpack and my shoes. I ran outside and found Kumo curled up where I had left him. He raised his head as I approached.

"This is what mommy had in the fridge." I said and dumped the fish in front of him. He just stared at it.

"If you aren't hungry then you don't have to eat it now but you should eat it soon or it'll go bad." I said.

He nodded. I didn't know why at the time but he seemed to understand what I said. This was an influencing factor in our friendship.

"I have to go to school now but I'll be back later tonight." I said.

I patted him on the head as I turned and ran through the compound, to the front gate. My cousin Sishui and my second cousin Tora were waiting for me there. Sishui was four years my senior but we were both in the same grade. My father said that I had a high aptitude level. That turned out to be rather true.

"Where have you been?" Sishui asked.

"Practicing." I replied. I wasn't much for converstion.

"Good morning Itachi." Tora said.

"Good morning Tora." I replied civily.

We walked through the front gate and through the streets that had begun to bustle with the activity of the new day. The sun was just behind the tops of the buildings. It's slanted rays hit us when we walked between the buildings. I watched from the corner or my eye as Tora ran up from behind and muscled her way between Sishui and myself. This won her a perturbed look from him. She did things like this all the time. She tried so hard to be our friend. She would insist on walking to school with us everyday. This made Sishui nearly die of embarrassment when we reached the building because he was popular, well as popular as an Uchiha could be, and having a kindergardener tagging along with him was cramping his style. I was Tora's age but in Sishui's grade and for some reason he didn't mind me but he most certainly did mind Tora. He would ignore her when she tried to sit with us at recess. Sishui was a social butterfly and Tora tried to get into our (more like his) circle of friends, she always tried to talk with me at recess and on the way to school and back. I too ignored her for the most part and Sishui too because to me school wasn't a social event. I was there to soak up as much knowledge as possible and then go home. This didn't remain the case. My reason for going to school changed later in my life.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for reading. Yay for Chapter 3! Thanks to NS and CA

Chapter 3

July 23rd, 1995

My brother's existence had always confused me, from my mother's pregnancy until the day he would come into the world. I was confused mainly because my parents didn't get along much less love each other. Sasuke was my backup. I never thought of him that way though. He was my little brother and I loved him immediately. That said a lot considering I was not a loving person. I guess I sort of hoped that he would capture my father's attention but it was only a far off dream.

My father was not known to be a nice man. He was hard set in his ways and there was something important that I had to do. He had taken it upon himself to train me extra outside of the Academy. This was not something that I liked. He worked me hard and pushed me past my limits and out of my comfort zone. I hated it at the time but I guess I was sort of grateful because it was due to this that I accomplished all that I did.

My brother was born on a hot summer day. I was sitting under 'the Kumo tree' that is what I had named the tree because whenever I wanted to see Kumo he was there or I would wait for him there.

He had just been chasing me and I was breathing heavily. The hot sun beamed brilliantly on the water. Kumo's head raised from where it was perched on my thigh. His pointy ears angled toward the house.

"What is it?" I asked petting him on the head.

He whined a little and stood, he nuged me to stand and twitched his ears toward the house.

"Itachi! Come meet your new brother!" My father called.

"Coming!" I yelled back. "I'll see you tonight." I said to Kumo.

He licked my cheek and I scampered off to the house.

When I arrived my mother was lying on the bed covered in a thin layer of sweat. She looked a little ill as she struggled to stay awake. In her arms was a small blue bundle. The bundle was crying. This was my first impression of him. Unfortunately for me my father lost sight of Sasuke's purpose.

"That's your brother. His name is Sasuke." My father said.

I looked at his tiny face. He had chubby red cheeks and a tuft of black hair. I was amazed at how tiny he was. The way I saw it he was my little brother and it was my job to take him under my wing. My father watched with a glint in his eye. This was the beginning of my sleepless nights hiding in the closet.

July 25th, 1995

It was a strangely cool evening. That night we had just eaten dinner. Dinner was different from usual; the silence, more strained than usual. The only noises were the sounds of the crickets chirping outside and Sasuke's cries which my mother attended to.

I just went to my room to prepare to go see Kumo, then my father came in. This was the beginning of everthing.

"Itachi, we need to talk." He said.

I just sat on the floor and looked at him. I was best not to say anything until absolutely necessary.

"You know the shin obi code of honor that all shin obi must follow in order to live the shin obi way?" He asked.

"Yes sir." I replied.

"Then you know that the most important part of being a shin obi is to not get attached to anyone." He said.

I nodded numbly. This conversation was heading south though I didn't recognize this right yet. The thought of severing my ties with kumo was heart breaking and Sishui too. They were my closest friends. They understood the way I am, that I'm detached, except around Kumo because I felt more open with him because what I told him he wouldn't tell anyone and he doesn't make judgements.

"That means no attachment to **anyone. **I'm just warning you. You'll be sorry you do. Also you might as well not get close to your brother because you'll be too busy to hang around with him anyway." He continued. He then saw snuggles firmly clamped in my small hands.

Snuggles was my stuffed rabbit. He saw a lot of things no one else would even believe happened, like what was about to happen. He ripped it out of my hands and snuggles' arm ripped. Some stuffing fell out. 'Snuggles!' I thought but I didn't dare move or even bat an eye because I knew that would make him angry. I saw him toss snuggles aside and then pull his fist back. It literally whistled through the air and made contact with my stomach directly between my lungs. The breath left me as I flew through the air. My arched back hit the wall hard and I slid down onto my bed. I realize now that my father hadn't actually punched me, he'd used his his chakra instead because there was no way that he could punch that hard. As a six year old boy I was scared and in pain. I coughed and pain seized my small chest. A small thin trail of blood trickled from the corner of my mouth to my chin. I looked up at my father with pure uncontrollable terror. He smirked and turned, stepping on snuggles, and left.

I cried silently. The hot salty tears rolled down my cheeks like rain on a window pane. I cried because my own father, whom I in a way looked up to, had just hurt me. I cried because he ripped snuggles. I cried because he stepped on snuggles but most of all I cried because I was scared.

It was a horrible feeling to be a child afraid of a parent. For someone with no friends like me it was worse because I was alone and scared but then I thought about Sasuke 'What if dad does this to him?' That scared me most of all.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to my wonderful editor NS who is helping me with my writers block and CA for the Collab.

Chapter 4

June 9th, 1996

My seventh birthday. I have always remembered it well. It was the day that I graduated from the Academy. I was in the fourth grade with Sishui even though Sishui was four years older than me. He still had not graduated yet. My father was amazingly happy and bursting with pride throughout the whole ceremony. It was kind of creepy if you ask me. I was then excepted in a team of three ninja's five years older than me, well I made three but that's not the point. It didn't bother me. I was much more skilled than them so if anything they were a nuisance to me. I had no positive feelings for them and I didn't really have any negative either. I was just going to be there until I passed the Chunin exams next May. Well I guess my reason for being advanced was my father pushing me and my being a good student. I was always a good student in school as a child. I never thought that, that would change but I was very wrong.

I walked home with Sishui. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn't. This made it awkward because I wasn't much of a conversationalist. When we were together Sishui did most of the talking. That day we walked in silence for a while.

"You're quiet." I said.

"Well… I'm just not feeling so good today." He said.

"Oh. Maybe you should have stayed home." I suggested.

"Nah! I'm good it's just a little cold." He replied waving away my concern as if it were a small flying insect.

I nodded thinking that it was odd how he got a cold in June.

When we got back to the compound we went our separate ways. I went back home and went practicing for the Chunin exams in the woods. Kumo emerged as one of the kunais I just threw hit a tree dead center.

"Kumo!" I yelled and ran over wrapping my arms around him as if I hadn't just seen him last night. "Guess what?"

He tilted his head to the side as if to say "What?" One of Kumo's defining characteristics was that he seemed to understand me when I spoke.

"Today is my seventh birthday!" I exclaimed and he barked and panted happily. "And I graduated from the Academy today too."

He once again barked happily.

"But Sishui seemed upset about something and I'm not sure what."

Kumo looked concerned but only remotely. I continued my target practice for a while, while I mulled over why Sishui would lie about being sick. I wondered what was really wrong but decided that it was best to leave it alone. I went and got Kumo some fish before going back inside. There was a wrapped package sitting on my bed. It was wrapped in plain newsprint. It's tag read: To: Itachi From: Mom. I opened it. It was a leather journal. The leather was soft and brown, it had a string to tie it closed with. The paper looked nice and sturdy, it had lines so that the writing would stay organized. I flipped to the inside cover. There was a note neatly written there. It read: Itachi,

I know that it is a shin obi rule that you reject your emotions but I think that it would help you to have somewhere to write down what you are feeling. You shouldn't completely banish how you feel it will hurt you in the long run. There is a big difference between hiding your emotions and just not feeling them anymore. Stay in touch with them no matter what you father says. I love you.

Love,

Mom

I wasn't so sure that I believed the last statement but I did appreciate the gift considering I didn't get many birthday presents, though it would go to no use for years just sitting in my closet gathering dust.

My seventh birthday was when I was catapulted into adulthood, prematurely. It was a jumping off point of sorts or when I was finally forced to grow up beyond my years.

That night my father called me into his "office" which was the tatami room that doubled as living space for us

"Itachi, my boy, I couldn't be more proud." He said with a wide smile "You are so young and already a genin. I feel that it is time for me to tell you your mission and your reason for living." He paused. Now is it just me or did that sound kind of like something you shouldn't say to a little kid. He was basically saying forget what dreams you had this is your reality and the only thing you are good for.

"Our clan has been oppressed for the longest time by the members of the Senju clan." He continued. He took a breath to say something else when he was interrupted by some on bursting in.

"Fugaku-san! There's a giant beast attacking the village!" He said. My father nodded calmly, stood and went with the man. With out a single word of comfort to a seven year old who might be afraid of a large monster attacking his home. I was so afraid though. I was the kind of person that tended to hate fear and anything that made me afraid I hated. I went looking for Mom to try and deduce what was happening but she was nowhere to be found so I went and got Sasuke.

I don't remember much from the chaos of that night except that when I went outside to see what was happening I saw the legendary nine tailed fox demon towering over the town. I also remember that my parents had disappeared for a couple of days and that the fourth Hokage and his wife died, orphaning their son, Naruto after trapping the beast inside of him. The third Hokage was reinstated the next morning and everything went down hill from there.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the late update my drafts got lost *sweat* Thanks to my fabulous editor as always for helping me so much and CA for the collab on OC's

Chapter 5

December 20th 1996

My father called me into the tatami room that day and I had a pretty good idea why.

"Itachi, we have to talk about your purpose." He said.

Wonderful I was going to be lectured but then again I was prepared for it. I felt like crap and had homework to do, it was easy but I wanted to get it finished so I could go out in the woods and find Kumo so I could sleep. I was exhausted.

"You are strong and extremely intelligent." he said. "You are exactly what we hoped for. Itachi you do know that the third Hokage is leading the village again right?"

I nodded.

"and you know what happened a few months ago with the nine tails?"

I hesitated then nodded.

"Well the nine tails attacked Konahagakure and the Senju blamed us for the attack since our clan has the ability to control it. Though very few learn how. In any case the council has placed black ops around the outside of the compound."

My father's face grew increasingly angry.

"All they have ever done is corner us and make us miserable. Itachi, I'm planning something…" he trailed off then and motioned for me to come closer. As I did so, he whispered. "A Coup d'etat." he paused "and you are my insider. I need you to advance through the shin obi ranks as fast as you can and gain as much political knowledge as possible understand?" he said.

I was in shock. My father was planning to overthrow the government?

"B-but they gave you a high position." I stammered, wondering why he needed me.

He laughed. "Ha! The only reason there is a police department is because the government wants to keep us under their nose, so they know what we're up to."

That's why he needed me; so he could do it without them becoming suspicions of his plan. I just watched as he seethed.

"I agree with Madara." he said. "He was the first leader of our clan during the time when we were in the war business. After Konahagakure was founded, he competed against Hashirama to become the first Hokage. He lost and the Senju clan rose to power. Madara thought that they were treating us unfairly which was correct. He wanted the clan to fight but they were sissies', they said that they were tired of fighting and just wanted to make peace. That is the easy way out. Madara tried to gain more power. He did something awful that no one alive knows about. He was shunned and kill him. Now there's talk that they're blaming our clan for the attack of the nine tails. They say the secret to Madara's power and how to control the nine tails is in the dojo under the seventh tatami mat form the right." he said.

I stared at him, my mind working slowly. There was a clan secret hidden under at tatami mat that no bothered to look at? He had used fifteen minutes to ask me to commit treason and this to me meant he wasn't secure in his reasons for asking me. He was insecure. I thought. "So you want me to commit treason?" I said slowly.

"Not exactly treason. Liberation is the word I would use."

I was dumbfounded. I honestly couldn't believe it.

"Let me put it this way. You do it or you don't do anything." he said looming over me.

I guess as a child my father forced me in so many ways I was practically brainwashed but several things kept me from conforming, completely to his ideals; including Kumo and the things my father did to me. I just accepted what was to do and like a good little boy went to do my homework.

In my room I laid on my bed. My insomnia was getting worse and the disturbance was caused by my lack of trust in my environment added with wild fluctuations in my body temperature. I woke up frequently covered in sweat after having vivid nightmares; I blamed it on this fact but I was also experiencing cold symptoms including low grade fever, scratchy throat, sneezing, and coughing fits.

Though my head was aching tremendously I managed to finish my homework. Grabbing my coat and several blankets from my closet, I headed out to the Kumo tree. Where Kumo greeted me. He was immediately concerned when he saw my face.

"I'm fine." I said laying the blankets down in the crook between two roots of the tree where no snow had fallen.

He didn't seem to buy it. I curled into a tight ball covered in a thick quilt and started to shiver. Kumo curled around me, his warm fur brushing against my cheek. I closed my eyes.

"I love you…Kumo." I murmured, my head spun with all sorts of images from my father's speech. I was vaguely aware that Kumo was licking the cheek that was turned up toward him. I was too exhausted and too sick to move. Slowly I drifted into a deep dreamless sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Finally chapter six is out ^^ Thanks NS for editing so late at night J

Chapter 6

September 17th 1999

Through out the years my sickness stayed with me. It didn't necessarily get worse but it was persistent. My mother was uncharacteristically worried about it. My father refused to let me see a doctor under the grounds that I was an Uchiha and a strong young man and that whatever it was I would fight it off myself.

A new development on the home front was that my father was slowly going insane. He had become obsessed with his coup d'etat and was pushing me to the edge. He had also taken to beating me when he felt like it now. It could be after I failed to learn something he was teaching me or while I was doing my homework. I had also awakened my sharingan. The sharingan is the kekke genkai (or special ability exclusive to one bloodline) of the Uchiha clan. Usually the clan members sharingan awakens at age twelve or thirteen. I got mine at age eight which made my father nearly burst from pride. I was able to control it shortly after and was promoted from genin to chunin.

I had finished my homework early so I was relaxing, which was a rarity. I rather liked it though I felt bored and lazy. This was a foreign to me but it was quite enjoyable. My father had been quiet recently so all my wounds from his last lashing were just bruises now. It was silent in the house; the fall breeze blew in my open paper door, it was very refreshing. There was no sound, not even the birds. The only hints of sound was the whistling wind so my coughing sounded very loud in the calmness. The relaxing mood was slowly sucked from me leaving me feeling empty and like I had to do something productive. I got up and walked out of my room pacing along the hallway, then through the breezeway surrounding the courtyard. I was passing my parents room when something grabbing my throat. I knew that grip. I didn't flinch or fight, that would just make it worse. I hung there in his grasp unable to breathe. He walked, still holding me by the neck, into the bedroom he had just emerged from. He threw me on the ground. I lay there like a marionette with broken strings, struggling to regain the oxygen he had deprived me of. He loomed over me and said nothing. I could feel the blood lust radiating off of him in waves. He walked slowly to the cabinet with the glass doors where he kept his swords.

I was kicking myself for leaving my room but if I hadn't he just would have found me. I was scared but I swallowed my fear and didn't let it show. It balled itself up tightly in the pit of my stomach. He pulled out a long thick sword with a curved blade. It was perfect for cutting through bone. I felt all my blood rush from my face though the expression on it didn't change. He ran the sword lightly over the cloth of my pants on my left thigh. He cut the last bit and my pant leg fell off. 'Is he trying to cut off my leg?' was the last thing that crossed my mind. He pulled the sword back and brought it down hard on my upper thigh. The pain screeched though my body as the blade sliced the flesh on my leg. I felt like I wanted to cry out but I was too choked by pain. to even think of screaming. He hacked away at my leg pulling back and bringing it down again and again. One time, two times, three, four, five... after that I lost count. I was getting woozy from blood loss and the pain. I instinctively reached out my hand to touch the wound to judge it's severity. I wanted to know if I still had a leg. My hand touched bone and then everything spun and then went completely black.

I awoke and sat up slowly. There was a slight sensation of head rush. I placed my hand in front of me where my left leg should have been but I just felt emptiness in it's place. I hastily threw the covers back to find a bandaged nub as my left leg. I screamed.

I awoke screaming and in pain. I couldn't move. My screams were choked and I couldn't move my lips. It felt like someone was stabbing my leg. I heard beeping and the sound of people talking. Everything was dulled by the pain in my leg. I wanted to thrash around screaming but I couldn't move a muscle. I couldn't even feel the constant ache in my chest anymore.

"Oh my he's awake!" A woman's voice said. She sounded shocked and panicked.

"Give him more anesthetic then!" A man shouted back. There was shuffling and then the pain and the noise subsided and I was engulfed in blackness again.

I awoke on the grass underneath the Kumo tree. Kumo was curled loosely around me the way he always did when I slept outside in the summer. I wondered for a moment if that was why I was so sick but it was comfortable and I was nice and warm with Kumo around me. I didn't see how I could get sick from the cold because I read once that you can't even get sick from staying out in the cold.

Kumo lifted his large head and pressed his muzzle against my cheek as if he were giving me a kiss on the cheek and for a moment I felt human lips brush my cheek bone. Though when I looked over at him everything was normal. He barked playfully and got up and ran. He was chasing me as I ran through the trees everything fell away into blackness.

This time I was in a room. The walls were a creamy white but rather bare. The place looked as if it were out of a science fiction film. The closet doors were chrome and automatic. The bed had a strange rounded shape to it. On the bed lay an old man, his long white hair strewn carelessly across the pillow, his face was still and his eyes were closed. Next to him was a young man with short black hair. He had his arms thrown around the old man and was sobbing. 'He must be his son.' I thought and once again it was black.

The darkness subsided and I was staring at a molding once-beige carpet. I was coughing hard and there was a bitter salty taste in the back of my throat. The got liquid rose in my mouth and I parted my lips. I watched as the dark red liquid ran down my chin and dripped onto the floor, staining the faded carpet with drops of burgundy. I started in horror as agonizing pain seized my chest. I heard a little girl's voice calling to her father.

"Toa-san! Toa-san!" she cried sounding panicked.

I hoped that she found him as the darkness blotted out my vision.

This darkness was unlike the first three, it was cold and distasteful. It was bitter and lasted for ages. I thought I was dead. I knew I was dead. My life had no meaning to anyone besides my father anyway. Why would it matter although it does seem ironic that the one who needs me the most was the one who threw me away. I suppose it was for the best.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7! I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to my editor NS and my best friend CA. I couldn't do it with out you guys.

Chapter 7

September 19th, 1999

"Itachi?" I heard my name being called as if I were submerged in water. "Itachi?" It came again through the darkness. My eyelids felt heavy and my limbs felt numb. I wanted to go back to sleep. I felt so tired.

"Itachi, honey, please wake up." I recognized the voice. It belonged to my mother. She sounded strangely choked. I struggled against my heavy lids and slowly my eyes began to open.

It was like opening my eyes underwater. Everything was blurry but I could see two shapes standing around me. I had no idea where I was. The last things I remembered were the nightmares. I blinked several times trying to clear the blur from my vision. Slowly the room began to come into focus.

"Itachi how are you feeling?" My mother asked slowly.

I tried to turn my head but when I did the room spun, so I abandoned my attempts.

"I'm fine." I whispered, not trusting my dormant voice box enough to speak any louder.

"Oh honey! I'm so glad you're okay. The doctors said that you should be better soon. You have a little cold but they said they'll be able to discharge you in a few days." She said smiling at me. She looked like she had been crying. She had blood-shot eyes and puffy circles under her eyes that looked irritated and red. I often say mother as fragile and she seemed to be even more so now, like a wilting lily whose petals slowly drop onto the river and are carried away by the current.

"I brought your homework, so you wouldn't fall behind." Sishui's voice came from the foot of my bed.

"Thanks." I murmured closing my eyes again.

I felt a hand brush my hair out of my face and then rest gently on my cheek. The loving touch startled me. My eyes flew open. I was even more surprised by the person who was doing it. It was my mother and I was more shocked than I would have been if Sishui had gently stroked my cheek. She had tears in her eyes and her touch was so gentle.

"I was scared that Fugaku had killed you." She murmured low enough for Sishui not to hear. I was just in shock as she lightly kissed my forehead. "I'm going to get something to eat. Sishui do you want anything?" She asked blinking the tears from her eyes.

He shook his head. "Are you okay?" He asked her, his face clouded over with worry.

"I'm fine just…guilty." She said glancing at me. Her eyes were like liquid night, holding so many conflicting emotions. She bowed her head, her mouth turned down in a mournful frown, and ducted out of the room. The door shut behind her with a click.

Sishui walked over and sat down in the chair my mother had just abandoned.

"How are you?" he asked looking at his lap.

"I'm fine Sishui." I said trying to be as reassuring as possible.

"Good." He replied. His head bent and his eyes focused on his hands that were clasped in his lap. He looked up and smiled at me. A smile that didn't touch his eyes.

"I think that the real question here is are you okay?" I asked.

He seemed surprised and for a moment his eyes lit up but it was almost immediately chased away by darkness.

"I'm great, you're the one in the hospital!" He replied trying to lighten the mood.

"Well I'm fine…" I said letting it go. I wasn't going to badger him though. An awkward silence seemed to stretch on between us forever.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you." He said gently laying his hand on my arm.

"It's fine Sishui." I said. "You don't have to pity me."

"I don't pity you." He said. Something about him was strange. He seemed sad? Angry? Anxious? I couldn't tell. "I lo…look up to you." He continued not meeting my eyes.

"Why on earth would you look up to me?" I asked genuinely confused.

"Itachi…think about it, you're a much better shinobi than I am and you have a higher GPA even though you're four years younger than me. You're just much better than I could ever hope to be." He said.

I gaped at him causing my dried lips to crack and start bleeding. Sishui immediately jumped up and grabbed a tissue and started dabbing at the blood.

"Be careful Itachi! You're a hemophiliac remember any cut could be dangerous to your life." He exclaimed worriedly.

"Jeez Sishui it's like you're my mother." I said.

"What? I can't be concerned?" He asked.

"Thanks for the concern but I'm fine really." I assured him licking away the rest of the blood from my dried lips. "What day is it?"

"September 17th" He said.

"Wow I've been out for days." I mumbled staring at the covers in front of me. I reached forward and found my right knee wit my right hand and then slowly with my left hand I reached down and found my left knee. Relief rushed over me. It was a lot bigger than my right knee though, most likely because of my cast.

"You woke up during surgery and they had to give you more anesthetic and it knocked you out for the next couple of days. We were afraid that you wouldn't wake up." He said sitting back down.

"Wow so that's why I was in pain." I muttered.

"Huh?" He said.

"Nothing. You must be tired and hungry you should go get some food." I grabbed the homework he had set on the side table.

"I was going to stay and see if you needed any help with your homework."

"I think I can figure it out plus you've done enough." I assured him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

He stood and walked over to the door but I stopped his steps when I called out to him. "Sishui, thanks for caring so much. I really didn't think anyone would. You really are my best friend."

He smiled widely. "Anytime. You're my closest friend of course I'm going to care if you fell out of a tree onto a sword." He said.

A chill fell over me like a reversed blush. That's not what happened. Was it what happened? No! I remember. How could I forget the pain, and the manic grin plastered across his face. The story my mother must have told everyone was that I fell on a sword?

"Fell on… a sword?" I asked wanting him to cough up the story.

"You don't remember? You were practicing with a sword and you threw it but it got caught in a tree branch and you climbed the tree to get the sword and it fell, you lost your balance and fell onto it. Then you were confused and rolled trying to get off of the sword but it just sliced deeper. Your mom found you bleeding, out by the river and she brought you here. I didn't find out until you didn't come to school. She told me what happened when I went by your house after school. Then I came here. I've only left to go to school." He said.

"Oh okay. Thanks I couldn't remember." I said.

"No problem." He replied "I'll be back later." He gave me one last smile and then disappeared through the doorway.

At that point two things were apparently true. One, that my mother was lying to everyone about how I had been injured, and two, that she obviously knew that my dad had done that to me. She must be either in on it or scared into lying about it. I stared at the cracked stone wall across from my bed.

A cold realization struck me like a slap in the face. I was totally alienated. My father was separating me from my only sources of escape. He was cornering me. NO one could save me, not even my own mother; she was too scared of my father. He, by doing this, was illustrating to me that he had supreme authority over me. He was in control.

The thought filled my stomach with icy cold fear. There was more to this situation than it appeared to Sishui and no matter how close we were he was bound for the police force and he was loyal to me father so he couldn't help me either. Kumo was a dog and Sasuke was just a small child. No one except my mother knew the gravity of this situation and it had scared her into silence terror settled into my stomach.

Then slowly I came to realize that I wasn't completely helpless. Maybe I was boxed in with no outside help but that meant that I had to look around and be resourceful. When I looked around it was just me. A simplistic theory occurred to me; the thought that changed the course of my life. I had to save myself.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks to my editor NS and my best friend CA for the collab. Sorry this chapter is so late life happens. Enjoy.

Chapter 8

September 29th, 1999

I finally came home from the hospital but for days afterward my mother was watching me like a hawk; I was truly amazed by this. It was the first time in my life that she seemed to care if I lived or died. That day I had escaped her studious scrutiny and snuck over to Sishui's place. I often worried that since he was four years older than me that he would find a girlfriend or a new best friend his own age and forget all about me but he never seemed to do that; though he had many other friends his age, a lot of them were girls. I wondered why he didn't date any of them.

It felt ridiculous crawling through the bushes with a bulky cast on, but it was normal to sneak around to see each other because it cut out having to talk to the parents, who most of the time wouldn't let us hang out, but it was much harder without flexibility in my left leg.

I awkwardly propped my self up and looked into his window. I saw him sitting on his bed with some girl. She went to our school and she sat behind me in pre-algebra. I remember because she had copied off my paper for the first semester. Sishui was running his fingers through her hair. She giggled as he leaned forward and kissed her cheek. I let myself drop back away from the window. I guess I was wrong about him not dating.

I never could understand why he did things like that. We may have been best friends but he had strange hobbies, such as wooing women, that I'll never understand. I crawled awkwardly out of the bushes and grabbed my crutches. I hobbled away from his house and crossed a short foot bridge over the Nakano River to get to my side of it. I looked back down at the grass under my feet. It was green and plush as a carpet, still from the summer. I sat down by the Kumo tree and after picking up a twig, began drawing in the dirt. I felt fur brush my arm. I looked straight into Kumo's golden eyes. His eyes held a deep straining worry as if he was worried about me but not just me. I was always amazed at his ability to feel and portray such human emotions.

"What?" I asked him "Why are you so worried?"

He cocked his head to the side and nuzzled my cheek. He whined toward my leg that still had a cast on it.

"Oh." I said. "I'm fine."

He dipped his head and howled mournfully with his ears back peeking up at me.

"Kumo… I just hurt my leg is all. I'm better now." I said coughing a little.

He whined a little and put his head in my lap. I petted his head.

"Kumo…I have a bad feeling."

He looked at me as if to say 'why?'

"I don't know, something's a miss." I said narrowing my eyes at the river.

He raised his head and reassuringly pressed his muzzle against my cheek.

I smiled at him. "Thanks Kumo."

He licked my cheek and barked happily. Even though there was an eternal sense of doom coming I felt at ease with Kumo by my side. His presence was calming when I needed it, a way to forget what else I had on my plate, a way to be a child. This is what Kumo gave me and for that I would be eternally grateful.

That night was cold. It was strangely frigid and my four year long cold was acting up badly. I couldn't even hope to sleep. Every time I dozed off I awoke covered in a cold sweat only a half an hour later. I got up and walked around the courtyard hoping the fresh air would help as I walked by the tatami room I heard voices.

"Fugaku he's only teen and Tora's even younger!" My mother whispered.

"Well I'm not saying now it's just…something to think about based on what you said." He replied.

"Fugaku no offense but you're not right in the head."

I froze. My mother wasn't one to say something like that.

"If you had let him go sooner this wouldn't be a problem and now you want to marry him off at the age of ten? He can't even father a child!"

"Then we'll wait until he can." My father replied.

"What about Sasuke?"

"He's not strong enough."

"And you think that if you force Itachi to have a child that they'll be strong enough?"

"Hopefully. They'll be a direct descendant."

"Sasuke and Itachi have the same parents and Sasuke isn't strong enough? Maybe it's just that Sasuke isn't willing to give up joy to help you with your insane plot to over throw the government!" Mother said exasperatedly.

There was silence for a moment. Is that what she thinks of me? She thinks that I'm doing this by my own free will? He would kill me if I didn't.

"Then I have no use for him."

"And I'm not even going to touch on the fact that you tried to chop off your own son's leg!"

"It was so he would have a legitimate reason to see a doctor."

They stopped speaking for a moment and the only sound was the crickets and the soft clunking of the bamboo fountain on the rock and the gurgle of water running out of it over the rocks.

"You're absolutely crazy. He's sick and that's not reason enough?"

"No."

More silence. This was crazy. This was the first time I heard my parents talking like this and it was confusing. Their true personalities were coming out.

"Fugaku you really think that Katsuro and Michiko will agree with this?"

"Yes."

"Fugaku you've become entirely too obsessed with this coup. You're a danger to your children."

There was a loud smack. The sound of skin coming into contact with skin at a great velocity. I winced out of habit but the gasp that followed was not mine. My mother had taken her last stand against the winter wind that was my father , only to be struck down by it's sudden ferocity. I could tell without seeing her that her last petal had fallen into the icy Nakano River never to be found again.

"Stupid woman! Don't try to defy me!" My father yelled.

His voice taking on a demonic quality. I could just imagine his face turning red then a strange puce, the tendons in his neck standing out, and the vein in his temple protruding. My mother whimpered feebly from the floor.

"I know what's best for Itachi! You never even loved him! That's why you named him Itachi!"

I knew my father was right.

"How could I not? He's my son and why would I fight you if I didn't?" He muttered almost too quietly to hear but I heard it and didn't believe it. My father was silent, wheter he was stunned that way or not I didn't know but I was certainly shocked.

"Mikoto…" he said. In a low strained voice. "Itachi doesn't need love… he needs success." It was the first time I had heard him call her by her first name and what he said after it churned up a wave of unintelligible emotions from somewhere in my chest.

"What if he wants love?" she murmured, obviously not willing to give up for only god knows why.

"He doesn't want anything. He's almost inhuman, I bet he doesn't even have emotions." My father sneered.

I was tired of listening to them talk about me like this and I was confused. I did have emotions didn't I? I mean I felt sad and lonely and hurt a lot and when I was with Kumo I felt happy. I could want couldn't I? I mean right now I want to run away and curl up with Kumo and sleep just like that under the stars but…love? The kind they were talking about the true kind that was in fairy tails. I had no use for that kind of love. It makes you weak. I walked away thinking how stupid that Cinderella girl was or sleeping beauty. Who would wait up in a tower for a prince that would probably never come? 'True love isn't real and neither is prince charming.' I thought as I closed my door. 'and he never will be.'


	10. Chapter 10

Once again sorry for the late update. Thanks CA for the collab and NS for editing.

Chapter 9

November 30th, 1999

My parents had invited Tora and her parents over for dinner. My Mother being the only thing she could, a house wife, cooked a feast fit for a king. Usually we just had miso soup and onigiri but that night we had tempura that was cooked to perfection, crunchy on the outside and fresh on the inside. The ramen was full of flavor and boiled so it wasn't too firm or too soft. The pork gyoza was the best. She made fried and steamed. The steamed melted in your mouth while the fried was crunchy and flavorful. I gapped in amazement at all the food. Sasuke wasn't at dinner, when I asked kaa-san where he was she said he wasn't feeling well. I could tell she was lying. After dinner the meeting for which they had come was called in the Tatami room.

During dinner I could tell that my father was trying very hard to please Tora's parents.

"Sit please." He said with a little too much gusto.

Everyone sat. My father at the head of the table with my mother on one side and Tora's father on the other.

Dinner was extremely uncomfortable, for me. Tora kept, trying to talk to me but I was too busy worrying about what was coming next to respond. The fear of spending my life with her forever was paralyzing. Tora kept looking at me as if begging me to talk to her, I didn't oblige her. Over the course of dinner my father's loud bursts of laughter grew increasingly drunken. I don't think that I've ever seen my father drink so much sake. It was my first taste of what living with a drunk man was like.

In the tatmi room Tora and I sat across from out fathers who had sent our mothers away. They were laughing drunkenly at nothing.

"What are they doing?" She asked.

"Laughing." I replied without taking my eyes off of them. I wanted them to get it over with and tell us. I felt like I was waiting to get a root canal. Tora kept staring at me. I didn't know if it was because she thought I knew what was going on or because she didn't know what else to do or maybe a mix of the two.

Finally they stopped their guffaws long enough to have a semi decent conversation after wiping the tears from their eyes and the grins off their faces.

"Tora, Itachi." My father said pausing to clear his throat. "We have called you here because we must make you aware of something."

I braced myself for the news I knew was coming.

"We had a DNA test done…" My father said. "To determine who is most genetically compatible with Itachi and Tora when you were."

I looked over at Tora but realization hadn't dawned on her yet.

"You see Tora." Her father interjected with a much more fatherly tone than my father had ever used. "Itachi is ill and we need a strong young heir to take his place . It will be an honor for you to mother his child because it will succeed either him or Fugaku in being head of the Uchiha clan." He continued. O

I saw the realization as it crossed her features and settled into a mask of horror. Her father looked sympathetic and I thought I saw a shadow of doubt pass through his eyes.

"This is important to the clan…"My father said.

'Bullshit' I thought surprising myself. Cursing would become a vice of mine though. I knew my father was being a self-centered jerk. Tora looked petrified.

"B-but what about Sasuke sir?" She addressed my father in a weak, pleading voice.

"HE ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH!" He roared. His eyes were bugging out and his face was turning puce and that annoying vein in his temple was showing itself again. His voice was fringed with drunken slurs.

Tora's lower lip trembled and she fell back on her hands, her eyes moist. I put my hand over hers reassuringly. Her small hand was hot and damp. I squeezed my fingers trying to comfort her, though I was never good at consoling people.

"What Fugaku is saying…." Katsuro said after clearing his throat. "Is that when you are able to be parents you shall marry and produce an heir." He definitely looked doubtful now. His black eyes full of sympathy for his daughter.

Tora looked more relaxed when he mentioned marriage. Her hand tightened around mine. Now it was my turn to be horrified. I suppressed it though, so no one would notice. Did she actually want to marry me? I swallowed hard.

"So it's decided. Tora and Itachi will wed upon their ability to produce a child." Katsuro said as if trying to convince himself of the plan being a good idea.

"You can leave." My father said to us. He waved a hand dismissively.

We both stood, still hand in hand and walked out into the courtyard. As soon as the paper door glided shut behind us I freed my hand from hers, ignoring the kicked puppy look in her large black eyes and the way she let her brown hair, paled by the moonlight, fall in her face to hide it. I started across the courtyard to my room at a brisk pace.

"Hey wait!" She called after me.

I ignored her and continued into my room. I walked through it and out the paper door that led to the woods behind the house. She continued following me and yelling my name the whole way. I turned sharply and she crashed into me.

"SSSH!" I hissed.

"Sorry." She whispered. "Why do we have to be quiet?"

"So my parents won't know where we are." I replied starting forward again wondering why I had allowed her to come with me at all. I guess I would have to get used to her being around if we were going to be married.

"Why can't they?" She asked. My teachers were very wrong there were such things as stupid questions and that was one of them. I don't know if I could ever get over how her lack of common sense and over all intelligence got on my nerves.

"Because." I said in a slow tone that one would use when speaking to a kindergartener. "I don't have permission to sneak out after dinner to see Kumo." I sighed loosing my faith in my generation's ability to think logically.

"Who's Kumo?" She asked trying to take my hand again.

I crossed my hands over my chest. "He's my dog and I'll warn you, since you followed me, He doesn't like anyone except me." I said realizing how special it made me feel to say it. I was important and special to someone.

She stared at me perplexed.

"Well the only other person he's been introduced to was Sishui. He barked and growled a lot and you can't tell my parents or dad will… make him go away." I said refraining from saying 'kill him'

"Oh." She said "Well I hope he likes me."

I was just silent as we approached the tree. I sat down in the crook between the roots. She sat next to me. Kumo came bounding around the tree and pounced on me, licking my face. I erupted into giggles and shoved him back, my face becoming serious again.

"Kumo this is Tora. She's my fiancée." I said.

Immediately he pulled his lips back and growled at her, advancing in a hunter's crouch as if to kill her. She made a scared noise and attempted to hide behind me.

"Kumo stop it! She didn't do anything to you." I scolded.

"It's an arranged marriage." I added hoping that both parties would understand my meaning. No such luck occurred.

Kumo rested his head in my lap and Tora began to hum to fill the tense silence that had fallen over us. Her humming dissolved into singing. Her voice rang through the woods clear and beautiful, I couldn't help but stare. Her eyes were closed and she looked happy, like she had retreated to a happy place. She was born to sing; I could tell. I thought for a moment that maybe being married to her wouldn't be so bad. I saw for a moment our life. Her having food on the table and calling our son to dinner.

I was quite repulsed by it immediately. She wasn't to my liking. The idea of spending my whole life with her was depressing no matter how well she sang. I reached down to pet Kumo but he was gone. I stared at my empty lap and in that moment I felt so much more alone than I ever had. I turned my head so that Tora wouldn't see the hot tears pouring down my cheeks.


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry for the very late update. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I cut out a lot of stuff from the original drafting. Thanks NS (my editor) and CA (collaborator)

Chapter 10

June 20th 2000

It was one of those rare nights on which I slept the whole night through. I dreamed the strangest dream I can remember having. It wasn't necessarily what happened in the dream that was strange but my reaction to it and what ensued from it.

It was dark and cold. I shivered but I couldn't see anything. My sense of touch made up for the loss of my sight though. I was lying on my back surrounded by fur. I knew because I slept with Kumo curled around me a lot. It was pillow like and had an added sense of familiarity. I felt a hand rest gently on my cheek.

"Itachi…" A deep voice whispered.

"wha-…." I stammered as the thumb of the hand stroked my cheek.

"Sh… you're safe here with me." the voice said. Sounding slightly unsure of itself.

Though the situation was endlessly confusing. I was calm. There was something about the hand that was reassuring and I believed that I was safe, as naive and unlike me as that is It was true. That thumb continued to stroke my cheek comfortingly. I felt and arm wrap around my waist and long fingers pressed into the small of my back. I was suddenly surrounded by heat.

"I won't let anyone hurt you." The voice breathed. I could feel the hot breath on my ear. I didn't believe it but at the same time I did. It made me angry which only added to the heat. Despite my disbelief I clung to those words for dear life. I felt strangely safe and loved. The strong arms that wrapped around me supported me and held my broken spirit together. I felt smooth lips brush my cheek. The warm skin of whoever the voice belonged to was pressed against mine I could feel it on my chest and stomach and all the way down to my toes. For this I blushed. The heat around me grew in intensity until it was almost unbearable. It was getting very uncomfortable. And a red haze had fallen over my vision. I tried to cry out but my lips wouldn't move.

"Sh… It's ok." The voice said.

A hand gently stroked my hair. Then the heat stopped abruptly giving way to the most wonderful feeling I ever experienced. The voice continued to murmur comfortingly in my ear. I leaned into it pressing my cheek against that of the owner. It felt like a the petal of a flower in the spring, in the height of blooming there was a contented sigh and then it all faded away into nothing.

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. The morning light was filtering through the paper door. I sat up slowly. Something was wrong. Why had I slept the whole night through? I stretched my arms out behind me. I blinked and yawned sleepily, That's when I noticed the insanely awkward feeling that made my face screw up into a mask of disgust. I tried to rationalize it. I stumbled over to the dresser and grabbed some clean clothes and then tripped my way into the bathroom. I felt so strange, what had happened? I locked the bathroom door behind me. The room had a relatively heavy door and no windows. I never realized how safe it was. I turned the water on and let it get warm as I slowly peeled off my pajamas.

"Oh…Shit…" I mumbled. It was the first time I ever swore out loud.

That was it my life was over and the proof was there in my undergarments. I sat down on the cold bathroom floor and stared at the wall. It was all over. I was now able to father children. I was going to be forever trapped in a life that made me more miserable than I already was now.

"Yup."

"Damn."

"Itachi! When did you start cussing?" Sishui asked surprised.

"When I decided my life was over." I said dramatically flopping down onto his futon.

"Why's that?" He asked.

"Tora." I answered.

"Oh. That's understandable….I guess." He said knowing I wasn't going to tell him more. I didn't exactly want to share with him that I would be marrying Tora soon.

"So what was the dream about?" He asked poking my temple with his index finger. "I don't know! I couldn't see anything!" I replied exasperatedly.

"Okay did you hear anything?"

"Yea a voice."

"Was it a girl or a guy?"

"Jeez stop badgering me."

"Sorry. Isn't that my job though?" He said smirking.

"No." I replied curtly. "I'm going home now because you're getting on my nerves." I continued irritated. I stood and walked out through the paper door and into my own house into the air conditioning that was barely working.

"Itachi!" Sishui called out behind me.

I didn't turn around I just kept walking into my bedroom and shut the door without a backward glance.

Once inside I sat on my bed and contemplated the state of my life. It was a depressing subject. I picked at a hang nail on my thumb. Why was it that life was such a sad topic of thought? I mused as I watched blood well up from my hang nail. I quickly sucked it away and reached under my mattress and took one of the blood thickeners I hid there. Maybe it was just my life. No. There was no maybe it was just my life. My door slid open and my mother's delicate pale face appearing in the door frame. A large hand pushed her face away. My father emerged and barged into the room holding…the evidence. He had found it. It was over now. His face was manic and there was a wildly excited grin stretched across his twisted devilish face. I wanted to cry. I just bit my lip instead and stared at him. He was far to excited about destroying my happiness.

After much interrogating my father left to go call Tora's dad. I could feel the shackles of marriage tightening around my wrists. It was only a matter of time now. I pulled my knees up and hugged them tightly to my chest as the shackles fastened around my forever sold freedom, sold to Tora, sold, to my father, and sold to this god forsaken life that I just wanted to leave behind. I rested my forehead on my knees and listened to my dad laughing in the hall while talking about some bust they made last week. I closed my eyes and thought about Kumo. I wondered if he was happy with his life, or if he was miserable except when he was with me. I wondered if he had a wife and puppies, if he got along with his family. Above all I wondered if he was missing me right now as much as I was missing him. Though I doubted it.


	12. Chapter 12

Okay Chapter 11! The plot is thickening. Enjoy. Thanks as always to my lovely editor N.S and C.A for the collab.

Chapter 11

October 14th 2000

"Have you ever been married?" I asked Kumo, picking up a dried leaf and examining it in the palm of my hand.

He nodded.

"It sucks." I said closing my fist around the leaf. I stared the golden manacle around my left ring finger. I hated it almost as much as my father for forcing me into it's bind. I opened my hand and watched the small bits of leaf tumble out of my palm and onto the ground.

Kumo nodded.

"Did you like her?" I asked looking up toward the sky. The tree tops nearly blocked it out.

He shook his head.

"Then I guess you know how I feel." I said petting him.

He laid his head in my lap and pressed his nose against my stomach.

"Kumo You're the only one who understands me. I just wish I could stay with you for forever." I said scratching his belly.

"Itachi!" My father called sounding angry.

"Crap. I'll comb back later. Okay?" I said pushing his head out of my lap and standing. I kissed the top of his head and ran off toward my father like a puppet who's strings were being pulled upon. The world whirled by and it was the first time in a long time that I felt free, strangely enough, but that feeling was shattered like glass when when I reached my father.

"Itachi." he said. "It's time I told you something."

His voice was so grave that I became worried about what he could possibly want now. I had married her what did he want me to do now? Love her? I didn't think you could make yourself love someone. Then a terrible thought occurred to me. A child. Wait…. No not that any thing but that…

"Follow me." he said.

I did.

I followed him into the tatami room. There was no going back now. It was the beginning of the end.


	13. Chapter 13

_First I would like to say thank you to everyone who's still reading this ^^ and to my editor NS and my soul sister CA who is constantly helping me with this and has allowed me the use of some of her characters. Part two is coming up soon _

_Chapter 12_

_March 14th__, 2001_

"_Kumo! Kumo!" I screamed. I ran through the forest, branches whipped my face but never broke the skin. It was still frigid and slightly over cast. I was sure that Kumo was either dead or gone after what my father had done. Hiding in the trees, I saw him come back with the dawn and a bloody sword. Kumo had not come back all day. I heard voices and stifled the cough that was clawing at the back of my throat as I silently crept forward. I wondered who they were; only Uchiha clan members were in the forest. _

"_Come on Sesshy!" A female voice laughed . _

_It was answered by a low growl that sounded familiar; I peered through the bushes. _

_I would just like to take a moment to say that this is the pivotal moment in my life. This moment changed my life forever and I'm damn glad it happened too. _

_When I peered into the bushes the first thing I saw was a teenage girl. She looked foreign. She was wearing a black T-shirt. It couldn't have been more than 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside. She had shoulder length brown hair and tan skin. She was holding a camera, a pair of pants, a belt, and a shirt. _

"_Give me my clothes." The deep voice growled. It sounded familiar. I turned my head and saw him. _

_A man was standing in the middle of the clearing completely naked. He had a thin but fit frame. His skin was pale and he was covered in goose bumps. His face was perfectly symmetrical. His eyes were as golden and bright as the setting sun. There were slash mark shaped red tattoos right under his cheek bones, and a blue crescent moon on his forehead. He had a long nose and perfect lips turned down in a frown. His face was framed by very silky looking silvery hair, that fell to his knees. His chest was trim and perfect, the same with his long arms and legs. The part that got me the most was… well the area between his legs. I had never seen on that …. Large. A tingling sensation ripped through my body. I had no idea what it was. I fell backward into something soft. I didn't know what it was. I didn't really care either. I was too worried about why the appearance of a naked man made my whole body tingle. _

"_Give me my clothes now!" He roared at the girl. _

_She was looking directly at me. "Where ever you go you get okatus Sesshy." She said in a butchered Japanese that she had been speaking in since the beginning of the encounter. My chest was tight with fear that he would see me and yell at me like he was yelling at her. Though she seemed unconcerned. There was an animalistic quality in his voice that scared me a little, but it was some how exhilarating. Great now I'm an adrenaline junky! I thought as he ignored what she said and demanded his clothes again. _

_I stared at him, unaware that she had handed him his clothes back until he started to get dressed. I blinked and it seemed to open the flood gates for my emotions. _

_He was beautiful and there was something familiar about him that drew me to him, he almost seemed like the man from my dream. _

"_Come on let's get out of here before someone sees us" he said distractedly. _

'_NO!' I thought 'please stay' but it was too late he was gone. _

_I didn't have much time to grieve the loss of his presence before my father's belligerent voice sliced my eardrums. _

"_ITACHI!" He was screaming._

_I had to get away. I could tell it was going to be bad. He sounded kind of drunk too. Running would probably make it worse but something snapped inside me and I ran right through the clearing clutching the soft fur that had cushioned my fall. I nearly barreled straight into the girl who had not yet taken her leave. She made a surprised noise and jumped out of the way. I had made my choice. I chose to be who I really was not who my father so desperately needed me to be. My chest burned as I ran but my feet felt light and more than able to run for as long as necessary. _

_I stopped and hid behind a tree once I was completely out of breath. I couldn't hear him but then again I couldn't hear much of anything over my pounding heart and my ragged breathing. I pressed my forehead against the cold rough surface of the tree trunk and pulled the fur closer around me, partially to keep warm and partially as a protective instinct. I took deep steady breaths in an attempt to return my breathing to normal, the fur smelled like Kumo. I heard a branch break behind me. I turned around to see where the sound had come from and there was the object of my eternal nightmares, everything I wanted to run from. My first instinct was to run but I knew I couldn't out run him his legs were longer than mine and he was healthier than me. My father stood looming over me with a manic grin stitched across his face and a crazy gleam in his eye. He's finally lost it. I thought as he drew a sword from it's sheath at his waist. I was helpless I didn't have any weapons on me. I had to think fast. A Genjutsu! I could stall him with a genjutsu. I signed the jutsu behind my back but he knew what I was doing. He was the one who trained me. He closed his eyes and almost immediately broke my jutsu. It was slightly insulting because I was a genjutsu type shin obi. He quickly closed his eyes catching on to my plot. He ripped the fur away from me with a quick gesture and pinned me to the tree. His face was contorted with dark hatred and sick sadism. _

"_If you make a sound I'll make sure that you die slowly." he hissed and drew his sword back. I a single fluid motion he stabbed the blade right above my heart. I could taste the salty tang of blood in my mouth. The world spun as white hot pain radiated from the center of my chest. I knew it would give way to shock soon enough. I coughed and blood ran in rivulets down my chin. More pain sprung up form my stomach. I looked down and saw that there was a deep gash from the center of my chest all the way down to my belly button. _

"_Hm." My father hummed standing back to admire his handiwork. _

"_That should finish you. You were useless anyway. I can train Sasuke, I guess, it'll take a lot to get him up to par but at least I can get him to listen to me when I say GOOD SHINOBIS DON'T GET ATTACHED TO ANYTHING!" he snorted with disgust. I was sure he had found out that I told the hokage on him for planning the coup. He walked away leaving me to die. I slumped down in to the pile of fur on the ground. I probably deserved it anyway. I thought of what would happen if my father succeeded in his plan to over throw the government. He was going to destroy the fragile peace the village had. How could I just die and let him do that. The Hokage would probably assign someone new to the case. _

"_Hey that's a pretty bad cut you've got there." the girl from the clearing said. "Let me help you with that." Her Japanese was absolutely dreadful. She reached toward my wound. _

"_Stop!" I rasped weakly grabbing her wrist. _

"_Don't worry it'll help I promise." She said in her strange accent. _

_I allowed her to place her hand on my wound. My sting tingled warmly at first and then the heat intensified and it felt like metal was melting on my chest. _

"_It's a little uncomfortable but I saw a river and I can cool you down with that. Trust me this is worth the pain." _

_I glared at her. She wasn't the one with the molten lead for blood, easy for her to say. How was she doing that anyway. _

"_What just happened?" I asked as she filled her hands with water from the Nakano River. _

"_Rapid cell division with no life span repercussions." she said. _

"_W-what?" _

"_Just don't ask too many questions." she said throwing water on my chest. It sizzled. _

_I looked down at my chest and where there had once been a large life threatening wound was now a thick glowing line. _

"_Just except it as it comes." she said reaching for the fur. _

_I pulled it out of her reach and glared at her. _

"_What you want it?" she asked. _

_I nodded. _

"_Fine it's not me that will suffer for that." She sighed. "Well I should be off before Betrold finds out I did that. Good luck." she winked at me and disappeared amongst the trees. I stood confused for a moment letting the shock settle and disipate slowly then the man's face came to my mind and the tingles came back to my body. What the hell was this? I knew who to ask he always knew things like this._

_I tapped on Sishui's window. He opened it. _

"_Itachi! I didn't expect to see you here." He said. _

_I pushed him back and jumped through the window. _

"_What up with the scar, and the blood, and the fur…where the hell have you been?" he asked. _

"_I need to talk to you about something." I said glancing around his room. He had a multitude of American teenage star posters all airbrushed scantily clothed girls and attractive smiling boys. _

"_Sure anything." He said. _

"_I-" I trailed off. _

"_Itachi!" Sishui's father boomed. "Your father's looking for you." _

_My father tried to kill me! Why was he looking for me and why did Sishui's father know I was here?_

_Sishui turned toward the door. My head was swimming. I wanted to scream so loud they could hear me in California but I was drowning in my thoughts and rampant emotions that filled my head and body like lukewarm water. Help me…someone please…_

_HELP ME! Please…._


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 13

March 14th 2001 (Evening)

'The Incident'

I looked around my parent's bedroom. It had a bulky weapons cabinet that took up a whole corner of the room. The bed was large and evilly beckoning. The walls seemed to be shrinking in on me. I knew Tora was there but I did not acknowledge her presence instead I stared at the opposite wall, tracing it's cracks and stains with my gazed. I blinked. The walls were mocking me. They stood between me and the outside world that offered a safe haven from this situation. I turned to face Tora who was completely naked. I jumped back from a sudden waive of nausea. The paper door behind me slid shut. I looked at the pale green paper squares lined with dark mahogany frames. I thought of punching through the door and running but I could see my father's silhouette in military stance outside the door holding a sword unsheathed gleaming and ready to take out an attempted escapee. I glowered at him while he couldn't seen me. The moonlight poured in a picture window on one wall and drained everything in the room of color. It felt cold.

Tora's head was bent and her long black hair covered her chest. She moved her eyes to meet mine, in them I saw dark terror. This situation became more sick when I saw that. I not only didn't wait to do this for my own selfish reasons but I had no desire to mentally, emotionally, and quite possibly physically scar a twelve year old girl by practically raping her, against my will. But could it even be really counted as rape if the doing it didn't want to? My father was the real culprit here.

"Well get on with it you damn kids!" my dad yelled through the door.

I could see tears glistening on Tora's cheeks.

"Tora…" I sad gently. I sat next to her and gently touched her shoulder. She surprised me by falling into my arms. I felt my skin crawling. I gently patted her between the shoulder blades. She took this as encouragement and wrapped her arms around my neck and sobbed into my chest.

"Tora!" I whispered.

"Itachi. I'm scared." She whimpered softly.

"Tora don't be scared." I said weakly. I was a hypocrit, for I felt as fearful as she did. I had no clue what the hell I was doing, all I knew was that I was supposed to make her pregnant. I definitely didn't want to though. She looked up at me and stared into my eyes. Her face was red and puffy. She seemed to want something.

"What?" I asked slightly irritated by her kicked-puppy-self-pitying look in her features. I didn't want to be a shoulder for her to cry on all the time.

"I…" she trailed off tearing up. "I…"

"You what?"

"I love you." she said, pulling herself up to kiss me. A shock went through my body when her lips touched mine, and not the good kind of shock. Her lips pressed against mine, tasted like salty and bitter. I stared straight in front of me. The room started to spin. I felt dizzy and sick. She moved her lips, forcing mine with hers. I was surprised by this. I put my hands out in front of me and to my ultimate disgust my hands landed directly on her small chest.

There was a squeaking noise but I couldn't tell if it came from me or her but we separated suddenly. She sat confused and completely exposed. I stood against the wall like a cornered cat.

"Go on!" My father shouted.

It was the worst night of my life.

"Sishui?" I whispered poking him on the cheek.

"W-what?" He mumbled sleepily.

"Can I talk to you?" I hissed pulling him up by the shoulders.

"Why? It's the middle of the fucking night."

"Please, you've got more life experience. I have to ask you something."

"What?" He grumbled rolling over.

"Can a guy…you know…_like _another guy?"

"What like Tora likes you?" he slurred.

"yea.." I said shuttering as I remembered what happened earlier, and feeling the need to shower again.

"Sure." he mumbled pulling up the covers up over his head. "It's called being gay, look it up in the dictionary. Now please can I go to sleep?" He softly began to snore.

"Fine." I said skulking off out the window.

Once back in my room I retrieved the my dictionary from the closet and looked up the definition of gay. The dictionary defined it as… ' having or showing a merry, lively mood.'

No, no that wasn't right. It must be a slang term. I found something underneath happy saying see homosexual. So I did. 'A person who is attracted to members of the same sex.'

That was me. I stared at the black and white characters on the page. The ink that stated in a matter-of-fact way the very piece of information that would change my life forever. I was changing for good. The events of this night would haunt me for years to come and it was then that the cracked protective shell of childhood really shattered and I embarked on the long and dark journey of adulthood.


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks as always to my editor and my best friend for all the help. If it weren't for them this fic wouldn't have gotten as far as it has. Thanks a million if you've read this far as well.

Chapter 14

April 17th 2001

One month. It has been one month since the 'incident'. I just can't bear to call it anything else. I had been promoted to Jonin and shortly after, maybe about a week ago, the hokage called me into his office for a very important and urgent assignment. I had alerted him, back when my father told me I had to marry Tora, to the fact that my was planning a coup 'd 'etat.

I walked into his office a jonin and walked out an Anbu captain. He told me he was promoting me because he thought I was able and he also informed me that I didn't have to complete Danzo's training. I was inwardly grateful for this because his anbu training was feared by all, admired by many, and survived by few. The hokage said I could be promoted after I finished my current mission and with that sent me away.

I went over to Sishui's and much to my displeasure, Tora was there. She was sitting on his futon, her eyes were swollen, red, and tear filled. Her hair stuck to her temples as if she had been lying down sobbing. Her shoulders were shaking almost uncontrollably and her hair hung down around her face plastered to her wet cheeks. Sishui was sitting next to her with his arms around her. He looked up at me with frustration.

"What?" I barked irritated. I was now officially uncomfortable.

"Tora's got something to tell you." He said standing and giving me a warning glance. It must be bad news. "And she wants to do it alone." He grumbled. Ah that was the problem Sishui was the nosiest person I knew and he hated being out of the loop. Tora must have something to tell me about our marriage or even worse…. No I shouldn't think about that.

"Alright give us a minute will you?" I said to him.

"Go outside will ya it's my room!" He sniped.

"She's crying!"

"Fine." He sulked and slunk out of the room.

I sank down next to her as if all the energy had been let out of my body. "What is it?" I sighed closing my eyes.

I could feel her looking at me. I opened my eyes and she looked so small and vulnerable like a little girl who had fallen down and scraped her knee. Tears were racing each other down her soft little cheeks. She looked like the poster child of innocence.

"I'm pregnant." She sobbed. Words a child should never have to say.

My whole world fell apart into a million pieces and left me floating in zero gravity shock. I could find no words to respond. The logic that my mind usually operated on was nowhere to be found. I felt like a little boy lost in the woods unable to find safety. I so wasn't ready for that. I'm twelve. I want my life back. What had I done to spark these events? What happened? I felt tears forming in my eyes and turned away from her. I didn't want her to see me cry. The tears fell down my face and I looked up at the ceiling. I needed help. I needed to get out of this life. I didn't want to be married to her, father her children, or stay with this family. I can't raise a child. I can't love it's mother either. What kind of family would that be. My reason for living was lost on me. At least I wouldn't' have to have sex with her again. The memory caused a wave of nausea broke over me. Why had my father done this? I took the innocence of a twelve year old girl. How can I live with my self for that. I felt her arms wrap around me.

"Itachi, we can get through this right?" she whispered unsure of herself.

I just shook my head "I don't know Tora. I just don't know."

"You'll be a good dad."

No I wouldn't but I had to be better than my dad. The only way I could do that is to be out of this child's life. I was not the kind of person that would do anything for his child. I wasn't willing to sacrifice everything for a thing I didn't want. I couldn't do this.

"Tora I can't do this." I sobbed. She seemed shocked.

"Itachi…. You can. Please don't abandon me!"

I had to. I wasn't going anywhere until my father had paid for this. I was guilty for ruining her life and for bringing a new life into such a terrible situation but I had to make sure that my child never met it's grandpa. I was terrified of making the wrong decision but in life we have to make tough decisions and stand by them, this feeling is nothing new. I felt homicidal rage toward my father who forced this on us so cavalierly as if he were forcing us to have dinner together not a child. I wanted to cry and scream and kill him and kill myself. My emotional rage didn't go far but it was stretching to it's limits. I was so torn I sobbed along with Tora not caring how weak I must seem. Our sobs ripped through the quiet room and filled the air with the sad desperation of young children who's childhood was pulled out from under them leaving them sitting on the floor crying. I wanted to see Kumo more than anything right then but he was gone. I would never see him again. My coping mechanism was gone and my life was about to get really bad really fast. I was lost in a sea of hurt, fear, and despair without any way to survive. It was like being lost at sea with out a boat. I had to tread water for years before I was finally rescued. I sobbed and begged to be freed from this nightmare my life was. I was sure I wouldn't make it to 21. I would meet my end very quickly. I wanted to run. I'm a mess. I just wanted out but I was as trapped as a animal in a cage. Trapped in a life that I didn't ask for and couldn't be happy with.


	16. Chapter 16

Dear lovely readers,

I am disheartened to say that I will not be completing this story. I am writing the next saga of the romance between Sesshomaru and Itachi that I will begin posting soon. This one was moving too slowly so I think this next story will be much more successful. Please check it out. It's actually going to be some romance between them. Also Sesshomaru is the dog kumo but I'm sure many of you already realized that. In the new story this story will be referenced via flashbacks but those who have read this one thank you so much and you will have more knowledge of the past and how the events truly began. Thank you.

Sincerely,

KuroKumo89


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